I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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