So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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