im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
