You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
