you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
