she was so not down for the gang bang
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
