Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
