If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
