We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He felt like a one man threesome
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
