I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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