At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
