my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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