i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
