my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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