I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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