somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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