he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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