i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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