Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
