so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
