all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
