Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
