Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
