And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
