he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
