and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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