I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
