sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
