forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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