I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
