We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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