I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
