Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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