I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
