tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
