Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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