my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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