I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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