im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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