what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
