I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
