A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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