Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
