We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
