There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
