Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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