THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
