This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
