Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
