Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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