well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
