Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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